7 Habits of Effective Honours Thesis Writing
1. Find the works of a recently dead figure in academia. This is to ensure that said figure cannot correct you in the event that you misquote his / her ideas.
2. Ensure that he / she is obscure enough (though not too much) that little has been written about him / her. Congratulations! You are a now a pioneer in the field.
3. Pick one or two words he / she uses repeatedly in his / her writings as the focal point of your argument and keep harping about them.
4. Propose new meanings and significances for the words. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a gross misreading - let other people correct you when you’re done: it’s academia after all.
5. In your writing, write in such a convoluted manner, stringing long sentences and ignoring grammar, style and general intelligibility; use three to four- syllable words where possible; and mix in a healthy dosage of german, french and latin words.
6. When in doubt, innovent a personal language and terms, calling it “your own” with appropriately attached “bunny ears” and italicization.
7. Supplement your writing with footnotes: providing page-long explanations and details in font-size 8, along with obscure and archaic bits of information that would put Wikipedia to shame.
